as i started to think

as i lay down my bed, i was thinking about something that is not logic at all.. i was so confused.. then i started to think, think and think.. what the hell was hat..?? huh, so unpredictable.. what is wrong with you people out there..?? trying to destroy people's life HUH..?? why cant others just mind their own life and stop bothering about others.. haih, you know, i'm tired of thinking about something which is not my problem at all.. people just cant stop stalking rite..?? stalk, stalk and stalk.. sometimes maybe i'm a little bit paranoid but i really dont know.. its like, there are no conclusion at all.. so what is the point of having someone that you need but they cant even listen to you.. what should we call that..?? ALIEN..?? PREDATOR..?? CATDOG..??
i'm here alone at my boyfriend's house.. his out for a while to buy rice and stuff to eat.. sometimes, the small matter can become a big issue.. but why people likes to make it big..?? BODOH BETOL TAHU TAK..?? ok la, if people cant stop disturbing my life, i'll just let it be.. why should i care aite..?? why should i waste my time thinking about them that doesnt give me anything..

WELL,
besides that, i have something to share.. something that can be consider as a private thing.. i mean, life.. well after i broke up with danial, i started to like someone.. some people knows about him already.. but when i'm with him, he is like me when i'm with danial.. totally like me, 100% ME!! now only i know that i was veru stupid when i was with danial.. sometimes no doubt that i miss him so much.. who doesnt love their EX aite..?? sometimes when i'm holding his teddy bear, i feel so warm.. as if he's hugging me.. i wish i could undo the clock.. but maybe moving on is the best way to correct things.. during this school holidays, a lot of things happen.. mini broke up with amir, farah is still single and i'm with ihsan.. why cant the 3 of us have our partner at the same time..?? when mini is happy, farah is not.. when yati is happy, farah and mini are not.. when farah and mini is happy, yati is not.. so what is that.. i wana say something..
MINI, at the first place i shouldnt let you be serious with AMIR!! omg he is a really BIG JERK!! what the hell..?? i taught he was the nicest guy ever.. u know that if i could, i want to find a guy like amir rite..?? luckily i didnt.. thank GOD!! i was so shocked when mini called me and said that they broke up.. i was like what the... huh, amir, amir.. why did you left her..?? it is not worth it to just leave her for your past.. that is so stupid of you.. by the way, you did something that is so stupid.. MINI, get rid of him, OK..?? i'll be your real amir then.. AMIR, you better get rid of MINI!! if i see you near her, i'm gonna kill you.. i dont know what is your problem and what were you thinking.. HUH, poor MINI!! so, thats about MINI and AMIR JERK for today=)

SO,
now its me, me all by myself.. think, think and think.. we always have to think about our future aite..?? not just about our ambition, family or friends.. it is more than that.. it is about OUR LIFE!! our journey of life.. wether we want it to be good or bad.. for me, i want everything to be good.. who wants it to be bad aite..?? so, to achieve that i dont think its easy.. i'm here all by myself.. people who support us will not be with us all the time.. they will leave us 1 day.. that is why we need to plan our future properly.. well i have my own future with someone.. but will my family accept it.. for me, falling in love at my age is not wrong.. well, we need to know how to maintain and manage it u see.. with studies, family, personal, friends and much more.. i want to be with him forever.. only death can seperate us.. but i dont think he take this seriously.. i cant force him.. but i'll always hope for the best.. accepting him in my life, is something special.. he is something that means a lot to me.. everything.. but the things around us make it hard.. the people, surroundings, and so on.. humans have feelings.. feelings are emotion.. so once u're feeling down, everything is not gonna be good, ACCEPT if you know how to control it.. i'm totally pissed off.. i have my ego and so he is.. but why cant people just accept their wrong..?? its better to admit it.. i mean, its obviously in front of your eyes and how could you deny it and keep on saying ;I TAHU I TAK SALAH'.. so what the hell is that..?? OH MY GOD!! that is the hardest part in a relationship.. i didnt say that i'm good.. but at least as an adult, THINK!! writing this, makes me wanna cry.. i want you only!! ONLY YOU!! no one else in my life.. i promise that i'll be yours FOREVER!! and i am yours now.. 100% yours.. and u're mine.. so starting from this moment, i'm gonna change to make things work out between us.. YOU LOVE ME AND SO DO I.. i wana marry you.. i wana have your kids.. i love you to bits..



IHSAN BIN ZOKIPLI<3>

Is It Hard To Say......... 'I LOVE YOU'

while i was sitting here with someone, i was thinking... think, think, and think... well, why do people love someone & it is very hard for them to say 'I LOVE YOU'... i really don't understand that... WHY....?? for me, i love someone, and i do tell him everytime & i wish the same way... but yet, he did not give good response.. he always said that HE LIKES ME, but the way he treats me is like his girlfriend.. well, i am his girlfriend but why can't he just say that word...?? is it that hard to say..?? now i'm thinking again... does he loves me or he is just pretending..?? from the physical, yes he is.. but when it turns out to be the feelings, its just not fair!! really not fair!! i really dont know.. i just hope for the best!! he is like everything to me!! obviously yes coz he is my baby.. but why...??
darling, why is it so hard...?? why cant you just say that to ME..?? huh, if you do, why cant you prove it to me...?? WHY...?? i told you like so many times... but you..?? OMG!! i wish you feel what i felt.. to get you, is not that easy!! but i did and i'm very thankful for that.. i love you.. and why cant you just understand the meaning of I LOVE YOU...?? HA...?? i do and it really hurts everytime knowing that u didnt reply it!! it hurts, man.. really bad!! i just want you to just try.. i'm not angry but deep inside my heart, its like killing me... everytime i told you, and you will only say NOTHING!! NOTHING!! well, if i'm at your place, i will be saying it many times.. baby, it is really true that you dont need to say that thing really often to prove that you love me.. but sometimes i really nedd to hear it from you!! YOU!! NOT ANYONE ELSE THAT I DONT LOVE!! and why cant u just understand that simple thing...?? i tried so hard to understand you and you problems but i did it successfully.. but how about you..?? and one more thing, why do you thing that its a problem if someone knows about us..?? that we are together.. i just feel weird!! SO WEIRD!! i love you so much more than anything else and i really mean it.. i've been waiting for you like a month or more!! i've been screaming inside my heart but did you know about that..?? do you know..?? i was so hurt.. it hurts so much.. but well, we get together finally!! i love you, i love you so much.. but i cant just pretend that i dont care.. actually i care to much for you.. haih, so sad la IHSAN!! i love you IHSAN, no matter what.. i'll continue later, ok..

Giving Yourself a second Chance

i'm updating my facebook today.. well, today was quite confusing.. i don't really know why but still, it makes me think.. why can't i give myself a second chance..?? yeah, if the first chance was bad, take the second chance to be better.. from good to better, and from better to best..
people in this world are afraid if they might not have the second chance.. but they are totally wrong.. if you can't get the second chance, that means, you have to give yourself a second chance by keep moving on.. the world does not ends here.. still far away to go.. why should you waste your time thinking something that will not be yours..?? something that has disappeared..?? something that is not worth it to think about..?? why should you..??

that's why you have to learn to give and take.. i learnt my lesson today.. so, i'm moving forward.. nah, i admit that it is not that easy but i'm trying.. if you lose once, doesn't mean that you will lose forever.. you will get your chance.. and once you got it, you gonna know that the GOD is so kind.. reading the books is not the same as the real life.. maybe they have experienced it then they try to share it.. but different people, different problems.. so, stand up and fight for it..
i wana share something with you guys.. since the day i broke up with my hubby, until now i can't even forget about him.. honestly, it hurts everytime seeing him with other girls.. but him...?? does he feel the same way as me..?? we won't know.. but since lots of people asking and telling me to move on, well i'm trying.. but slowly.. guys, i'm falling in love with this I guy.. i love him so much.. but it is too early that i felt in love with him.. coz we met only twice.. from that moment, he opens my eyes to keep moving on.. if you keep on waiting, its just gonna waste your time isn't it..??

yeah,
so i moved on but!! still i cant forget about D.. this I guy has something that makes me love him so much.. but how can i tell him..?? he is too perfect for me.. but i believe in myself that i will get that chance to just talk to him.. pray for me, guys.. he is nice, kind, kinda good looking, educated and... and... i love him.. i keep on thinking about him.. he always message me on facebook.. but, huh.. i have to wait til the perfect time.. should i ask him out..?? should i talk to him..?? should i tell him that i love him..?? OH GOD, it's too complicated.. well, if my brother knows, i'm gonna be dead.. coz he knows this guy.. if he opens my blog, just wana tell him that I LOVE YOU I GUY..
so, my days gonna be brighter than before.. thanks to my friends who helped me a lot.. thanks guys.. I LOVE YOU GUYS..

LIFE IS ABOUT MOVING ON!!

All the things I have,
All i could be,
I'd give up to bring you to me..
I'd rather have bad times with you,
Than good times with someone else..
I'd rather be beside you in a storm,
Than safe and warm by myself..
I'd give hard times together,
Than to have it easy apart..
Remember I'd always love you, baby..
You are the one who holds my heart..
i'll always love you, danial azhar<3

13th november 2009

smoke, smokers, smoking

SMOKING IS BAD=)
why do people like to smoke? i really want someone to give me an honest answer.
i dont think guys who smokes is hot. i really dont like it. i was wondering, why do
people like to waste money to buy ciggarete? i hate it so much...
i think,

1. people who buys ciggarete is trying to kill themselves.
2. they want to die early.
3. they like to waste their money
(orang kaya, mampu la beli 1 gudang)
4. they want to show off.. to whom? to cat? to dog?
5. they always smells like shit.
6.they are trying to say that they are so good. GOOD, HA?
7. the dont have the effort to stop smoking.
8. always waste parents money.
9. stress all the time.
10. always not in a good mood.
11. no stamina.
12. always get tired easily.
13. they are not normal.
14. they are ruining their life.
15. they are so stupid until they cant live without ciggarete.
16. they think that they can release stress if they smoke. (BULLSHIT)
17. they are not fit enough.
18. they can get asthma.

people, please dont ruin your life. smoke is not good for your health.
it can cause a lot of disease. u know that? theres a lot of bad things
about smoking. u cant live a normal life. i mean, u wont be normal
like other people. u cant get tired easily and stress always. your
mood will be up and down.
guys,
i know you guys have experienced this kind of situation.
for example, if u just had a football match, you have to
smoke to get the energy back. but for smokers that
stoped smoking, they gain the energy back faster than
smokers. if you dont trust me, try to stop smoking
slowly. i dont mean that you guys have to stop it
quickly or suddenly. i know it is really hard.
i know the feeling of releasing the smoke out of your
mouth is actually really nice and stress free. but
they cant even think about it. even they just ignore
about their health. Who doesnt want live a stress
free life? everyone does. but, to me i think a lot of
people who get stress easily are smokers. they never
ever think about that. smoking is really really DAMN
BAD!! to someone that is trying to lose some weight,
dont think that smoking makes you lose weight. it
even makes you fatter. please ask other smokers to
confirm it. i mean, the person who is trying to lose
some weight but they smoke. dont be to stupid la
guys. think wisely and always remember your
loved ones. if you have any girlfriend or boyfriend,
please think about their feelings. i am really sure
that the person who does not like smokers, they
will hate you without any reason. just because of
you guys smokes. if you guys still have your
parents, please think about them. they will be
very sad if they find out thay you guys smokes.
isnt that bad?
i have one friend. he told me that it is so nice
to smoke after eating. but still, u wont get the
amount of energy that you need. the energy in
your body will decrease. think about it, PLEASE!!
think about your health, your studies, your family
and all the loved ones. try to stop smoking. it is not
good for your health. i dont force you guys to stop
smoking but i think that you guys know which is
good and which is not. try to smoke once a day and
decrease the amount. or just take 5 per week. enjoy
your weekend without smoking. trust me!!
YOU HAVE TO TRUST YOURSELF!!
BE CONFIDENT!!
DONT LET ANYONE GET YOUR WAY!!
you will enjoy your whole life and you dont need
to waste your money anymore. keep it for the
future. for guys, you have to save a lot of money
if you want to get married. not easy to take
care of your family. especially when you have
babies. can you imagine your baby seeing you
smoking in the house. its not nice and dont ever
teach your kids to do that so. i can see that your
wife will be angry and sad. think about it, OK??
and PLEASE, think about your girlfriend's
feelings. can you imagine how sad she is.
she will be hoping that you will stop
smoking but in the end, you are trying to be
a heavy smoker. is this fair? totally not fair.
PLEASE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!!
for girls, please la. its not nice for you guys to
smoke. you have to think about your boyfiriend or
even family. you have to take care of your family
image. can you imagine if a guy sees you smoke?
guys dont like it neither do girls. for those who
likes it, FUCK YOU GUYS!!
YOU ARE SO STUPID!!

SO, FOR THOSE WHO STILL CANT THINK ABOUT
THE BADNESS OF SMOKING,
JUST SMOKE TILL YOU DIE!! SMOKE TILL YOU DIE!!
AND WHY NOT, JUST JUMP FROM A HIGH
BUILDING OR JUST ASK SOMEONE TO KILL YOU!!
SMOKING IS LIKE KILLING YOURSELF, STUPID!!

so, one more time i remind you guys,
PLEASE STOP SMOKING AND TAKE YOUR TIME!!

LIFE IS LIKE THIS...

SOMETIMES...

when i cry...

no one sees my tears...

SOMETIMES...

when i am in pain...

no one sees my hurt...

SOMETIMES...

when i am worried...

no one sees my stress...

SOMETIMES...

when i am happy...

no one sees my smile...